So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
