Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
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ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize