covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
