glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
