i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
