I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
