its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We need to rekindle our bromance
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
