You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
