Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize