You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize