Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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