making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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