I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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