I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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