some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
