After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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