So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
