oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
