Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
