North Korea, Best Korea!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
