Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
