Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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