Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
