i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
