No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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