ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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