Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
