i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
