How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Your penis caused this!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
