I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
