i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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