And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
