these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
