Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
