Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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