Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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