maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
