She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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