so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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