I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
