Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
