How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
