Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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