I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
