god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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