We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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