your room smells of hookers.
And success
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
