So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?