She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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