Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

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(419): Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie? http://tfl.nu/tj9i

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(917): View more from New York City

Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day

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(917): Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day http://tfl.nu/w2yk

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

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(336): If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed http://tfl.nu/a070

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(904): View more from Florida

took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.

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(904): took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch. http://tfl.nu/4x1m

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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(270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5

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(519): View more from Ontario

Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.

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(519): Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation. http://tfl.nu/lz4o

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(765): View more from Indiana

did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...

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(765): did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me... http://tfl.nu/7ye0

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(775): View more from Nevada

Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...

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(775): Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks... http://tfl.nu/pt70

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.

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(504): My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway. http://tfl.nu/crxf

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?

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(832): I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went? http://tfl.nu/hldx

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(818): View more from California

WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD

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(818): WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD http://tfl.nu/zdjc

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party

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(519): I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party http://tfl.nu/i9gg

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest

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(615): I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest http://tfl.nu/qz1n

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

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(724): SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS http://tfl.nu/2482

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(256): View more from Alabama

I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.

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(256): I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though. http://tfl.nu/tmsk

Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (220)

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