you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
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Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms