so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
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If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today