After last night, I could never be a politician.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.