Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up