I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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