I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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