Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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