I think my fart just growled at me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
