i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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