Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
