i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
