Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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