Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
