the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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